jollyelmroot

I had recently finished my sketchbook, and now I’ve started a new one. Looking back at my old sketchbook as I trail the pages, I see what I like and what I don’t like, and unfortunately its mainly filled with what I don’t like, and that is meaningless drawings. Meaningless drawings are drawings that I would say serve no purpose, no progressive purpose, no purpose into becoming something bigger, no purpose in that it’s not related to how I’m feeling.

No purpose to warm and loosen up, it’s just there, taking up space, unfinished and the rest of the page is blank. That is what my sketchbook is filled with, and I would say that I give the blame to art block, because as I try to overcome art block, I’ll literally just draw anything trying to fulfill that inner satisfaction that I’m seeking for. A good drawing. A drawing that can be repurposed into something bigger, a funny doodle, something to help with my world building, but no that drawing is just a random drawing of something like an eye and its unfinished and the rest of that page is blank.

With my new sketchbook I don’t just want a drawing to be meaningless, I want it to contribute to something, whether it’s for practices or studies, or character development or to even be aesthetic pleasing to the eye.

When I started my last sketchbook, I would say I started strong, I practiced drawing various animals, I thought of potential art pieces, I drew what could be plot ideas for the novel I’m writing, and I created a story board for the short webcomic I’m working on. Then I trailed off, just drawing anything, because I didn’t know what to draw and because of that my heart wasn’t in what I was sketching and that led me to dismiss the drawing all together and thus leaving the whole page blank and ultimately wasting it.

Looking back as I go through my own sketchbook that I just finished, I’m hoping to at least decrease the number of meaningless drawings I create, I want my drawings to have a greater idea to some extent, to serve some sort of purpose. Even if that means to just, vainly please the eye.

I would say as I scroll on Instagram and Pinterest and looking at other people’s sketchbook pages, I can’t help but compare my own art. Now comparison amongst one another isn’t wise but it’s just so hard to not do, because I admire what type of drawings they create and I wish I can create something to that level, perhaps I am on that level but maybe I’m having some sort of artist anorexia, where I think my artwork is horrible when in reality it’s not just like when a person thinks or pictures themselves to be obese but in reality they are fine as they are.

Though this artist anorexia is a weakness I would say, a personal vulnerability I want to use this anorexia to push me to be better and I want it to make me grow.

Today is August 21, 2024, I drew two pages, showcasing my main character for the little, short webcomic I do hope to complete. The story for now, has a tragic ending but I imagined what she would go through in that tragedy, that is what I drew for the first page. The second page I just drew her as subject of study as I practice using colored pencils. To be honest I’m pleased with the drawings I think they are meaningful, because they contribute to the story, that is, if I decide to continue the short story, In the first drawing I showed what the main character is enduring in that tragedy. The second page served the purpose of study, as I try to get better at colored pencils.

Art with a purpose is what makes it meaningful, art with a deeper idea is what in my opinion makes it eye catching, I don’t want my art to be like the modern art today, random colors slapped onto a canvas without soul, no I don’t want to waste my pages like that. Therefore, even if it sounds silly, I want my sketchbook to be full of meaningful things, and that’s art with a purpose.